I did a thing this weekend – I graduated! I’ve been participating in a Speaker’s Academy for the last several months, led by the National Speakers Association – Las Vegas Chapter. Our Speaker’s Showcase on Saturday featured my new mini-keynote, “A Crash Course in Disability Etiquette.”
Update: The edited recording is here! I’ve provided my initial version of the talk below, and the final video contains the accurate spoken transcript.
Good morning! Take a moment, if you can, to look around you. Notice the three people closest to you. It’s likely that one of the four of you is living with a disability. This isn’t just a statistic—it’s a reality that affects how we build our communities and workplaces to be inclusive and accessible to everyone.
Today, we are fortunate to have Britne Jenke with us, an expert in accessibility training and consulting. As someone who navigates the world informed by her own experiences with disability, Britne brings invaluable insights that challenge conventional views on disability etiquette.
In her talk, ‘A Crash Course in Disability Etiquette,’ Britne will transform your understanding of what it means to be truly inclusive. You’ll learn not just the ‘rules’ but the real-life applications of creating respectful and welcoming environments for everyone. Get ready to change the way you think about and interact with the world around you.
Please join me in welcoming an inspiring trainer, consultant, and advocate—Britne Jenke!
“A Crash Course in Disability Etiquette”
by Britne Jenke
Let me introduce you to a friend of mine. I’d like you to meet Ruby.
Ruby has been my trusty companion for years. She joins me anywhere, and like any woman, she’s always supportive – and she does it in style!
I use a cane on occasion because I have a chronic pain condition, fibromyalgia. My canes help me manage places like the conferences I speak at, with long walks down halls of rooms and lots of standing through expo halls and receptions. I once worked at a factory with a daily walk of 2000 steps from the parking lot to my desk, and you better believe Ruby was there to get me out of that factory every night.
There are several causes of fibromyalgia, one of which can be prolonged nerve stress. My doctors told me I acquired fibro through years of unsuccessfully managing undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder. The PTSD comes from an incident I’d rather not discuss today, and after therapy it really affects me less than my daily challenge of bipolar disorder. (That one I inherited.)
Yes, I am a mess. And since these conditions affect my day to day life and function, I am considered disabled by most definitions. I have medications, strategies, and tools to support me – but I’ve found that modern life is, well, less than inclusive to disabled people.
So I’m here today to shed light on the realities of disability and hopefully create a few new champions of inclusion. How? I’m going to share 3 strategies that will equip you with the tools you need to navigate disability etiquette with confidence. We’ll debunk common myths, learn how to offer assistance appropriately, and create a more inclusive environment for everyone.
We’ll start with: ask before assuming.
Let’s talk about good intentions gone awry. We’ve all been there, right? You see someone struggling, your hero instincts kick in, and BAM! You’re sprinting across the room, ready to be the savior of the situation.
Hold on a second. Don’t get me wrong, opening doors and picking up dropped items is awesome! But when it comes to disability etiquette, sometimes that well-meaning chivalry can backfire.
Like where you “help” someone with a disability without asking if they actually need it. Like swooping in to help someone in a wheelchair with their coat – spoiler alert, they probably had it under control. Or, maybe you see someone walking with a white cane, or maneuvering through a doorway with a mobility cane, and politely offer an arm. Great! You asked… but did you wait for the answer? Because grabbing someone’s arm, even with permission, can be disorienting!
The key takeaway here is this: We can all be champions of inclusion, but let’s make sure our help is wanted, not just well-intended. Ask before you assume, and let the disabled person take the lead. That way, everyone wins!
Next let’s talk about respectful language.
Buckle up for some cringeworthy classics! We’ve all heard them, maybe even accidentally uttered one ourselves (don’t worry, we’re all learning!).
- The Low Expectations Award: “Wow, I can’t believe you’re married with kids!” “I can’t believe you have a full-time job!” Shocker, right? People with disabilities can have fulfilling lives too.
- The Discount Disguise: “You don’t look disabled!” Uh, thanks? Disability doesn’t always come with a neon sign.
- The Participation Trophy: “Everyone has a disability!” No, not everyone. But judging someone’s abilities based on their appearance is never cool.
- The Age-Defying Mystery: “You’re too young to have that!” Newsflash: disabilities don’t discriminate by age.
- The Divine Intervention: “I’ll pray for you.” While well-meaning, unsolicited prayers can be off-putting – and not very inclusive.
Now, let’s ditch the awkwardness and embrace empowerment! Here’s the golden rule: Unless someone asks for your advice, skip the unsolicited suggestions on diet, religion, or even positivity. You’re not the first to suggest that, trust me.
And lastly, ditch the euphemisms! “Handi-capable,” “differently-abled,” “special needs” “special forces” – they’re outdated and frankly, unnecessary. And telling disabled people “You’re so brave and inspiring”? Don’t be patronizing, we’re just living our lives.
Disability is not a dirty word. Let’s embrace accurate and inclusive language.
Finally, let’s create a welcoming environment.
Alright, so we’ve talked about the “what not to do’s” – but why is creating a welcoming environment so important? Think about it: most folks are familiar with racism, sexism, and ageism – all forms of prejudice against specific groups.
But what about ableism, the bias against people with disabilities? It’s just as real, and it can be both intentional and unintentional.
If someone assumes a person with a disability can’t do something because of their disability – that’s ableism. If someone treats them differently – or worse, makes fun of them – ableism.
Here’s the thing: when we create a welcoming environment, we break down barriers. We show everyone, regardless of ability, that they’re valued and included. And that, my friends, is what being a champion of inclusion is all about!
I know my work in accessibility and disability inclusion will never be done, as people with disabilities are the world’s largest and fastest-growing minority group.
Any one of you could join this group at any time – from a health condition, accident, or simply by aging. If you’re not disabled now, you’re just not disabled YET.
You might make a friend of your own like Ruby someday.
So what can we do? It helps to accept we might make mistakes and others make mistakes.
- Educate ourselves about disability.
- Be willing to learn and adapt.
- Ask questions.
- Avoid and challenge assumptions.
- Be conscious of our own privilege.
- Consider multiple, new, and different possibilities.
- Get to know people from marginalized groups.
- Support organizations that advocate for people with disabilities.
As you leave this session, go forward and champion inclusion by practicing what you learned today and spreading awareness on disability etiquette.
My experience in this Speaker’s Academy was amazing! I’ve learned from some of the greatest, with incredible mentors that have helped me shape and refine my speaking skills, proposals, and topics – and prepared me to take the stage more often.
I had the absolute honor of sharing the graduation stage on Saturday with my fellow graduates Brian Williams, Speaker, eMcee, eCommerce Advisor, Rhonda Lea, CSSBB, Nathan Whittacre, Emma Schermer Tamir, 🎙️Parmjit Kaur, PMP®, CSM®, Kelly Fisher, and Marty Suidgeest. We heard so many experts sharing their wisdom across different topics and industries, and I guarantee everyone in the audience left the day having learned something new.
If you missed this event, I’ll see you at the next one! Check out my list of upcoming speaking engagements here. Want to book me to present this talk – or another – at your organization? Get in touch!